How Do You Politely Correct Someone?

You don’t agree, they aren’t correct…Everything that is going through your mind when you talk with someone who is spewing out information you know can’t be right. Do you say something or keep your mouth shut?

The Redditors in this thread seem to agree that it depends on what you are correcting and how:

“Sometimes there is a time and a place. You see it on here a lot. Someone could be baring their soul in a post, make a spelling or grammatical mistake, and everyone jumps on that. It can be inappropriate. False information should always be corrected, but in a civil manner.

Maybe it’s just the way you correct a person that can ‘rub them up’ the wrong way.”

I agree. It drives me crazy when someone makes a grammatical error. But I never say anything. Because I know how it feels.

When I was in my 20’s, I had a friend/colleague who was an utter perfectionist. One day I made a slight grammatical error. Can’t remember exactly what I said. Anyway, she immediately corrected me, and I realized my pal didn’t mean it in a hurtful way. She really was trying to help me. But I felt bad, like somehow diminished.

So, that’s why I never correct anyone. And I do make my share of mistakes as well! One thing that really bothers me, and it is said everywhere, to the point this phrase is main stream. And that is, when you ask someone how they are doing they automatically reply, “Good.”

That is so incorrect, I could scream. But of course, I never say anything because I would be interrupting people all day long if I did!

I agree with the Reddit poster who said, how you correct someone is key. I remember I was talking to my friend about the city in Germany, Dresden. I think I butchered the pronunciation. And I could tell she was debating in her head about whether or not to correct me.

Finally, she tactfully said, “I may be wrong, but do you think it is pronounced Dress-Den, not Drayz-den?”

My friend was so nice in the way she corrected me that I wasn’t offended at all. In fact I am glad she said something so that I didn’t keep repeating the same mistake.

This etiquette expert says the only time you should correct someone is if the criticism is constructive:

“Before correcting others, especially when correcting them publicly, ask yourself this question: Will the information I give by correcting them bring about enough “good” to offset the embarrassment they will feel? Only if the answer is yes should you proceed.“

Also, she adds, you should correct someone privately if you can, so that you do not embarrass them.

What Should you Do if you Receive Unwanted Criticism?

You don’t have to react. This person could be trying to bait you, to get under your skin. It could be they want you to get upset.

Jealous or insecure people sometimes feel the need to bring others down in order to elevate themselves.

When this happens to me, sometimes I’ll respond with, “That’s an interesting point. I’ll keep that in mind.”

So you’re not telling them that you are going to follow their advice or in anyway internalize their critique, but you do hear them and understand what they are saying.

Then, I would change the subject. You don’t want to listen to this person double down on their point or get into some kind of a sparring match.

Oh, and if you ask me how I am doing, I will probably tell you, “Well,” “Fine,” or “Great!” Never “Good.”