Fleeting Echoes

For my

inexpensive dopamine dose,

I trade in hazy thoughts

and unsteady knees.

It’s a costly exchange,

this currency of mine.

I've neglected the fact

that people experience emotions.

Since you departed,

the world resembles scenes

from a '70s film reel,

where motion decelerates,

colors fade.

I hold out hope for your return,

a beacon to illuminate my smiles,

once more tucking my hair

behind my ear.

Yet, a conflicting desire lingers,

as your return could also mean

I take flight,

only to be laid to rest

beneath six feet of earth.

The chill of the soil is real,

but in perfect stillness,

its grasp goes unnoticed.

Thus, I fixate on a glowing screen,

cram plastic into my ears,

until my eyelids surrender

to the weight of slumber.

It's plausible my heart aches,

though I remain unaware.