Irony
EXCLUSIVE: Local Man’s Wi-Fi Network “FBI Surveillance Van #4” Finally Gets a Knock on the Door From the Actual FBI
For seven years, residents of a quiet cul-de-sac in Des Moines lived in the shadow of a running gag. It wasn’t a neighborhood watch, or a barking dog, or even the HOA’s obsession with measuring lawn length to the millimeter. No, the source of both pride and suspicion was a Wi-Fi network named “FBI Surveillance Van #4.”
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
My Epic Fail at Yoga Class
Introduction: The Myth of My Flexibility I had always believed yoga was simple. Peaceful breathing, soft music, a few stretches — how hard could it be? Friends swore it changed their lives, improved their posture, and helped them “find inner balance.” I wanted all that. What I didn’t expect was to find myself becoming the accidental comedy act of the entire class.
By Nadeem Shah 7 months ago in Humor
How I Accidentally Became the Office Meme
Introduction: The Day My Dignity Took a Coffee Break They say every office has “that person” — the one who becomes the story everyone retells at lunch. I never thought I’d be that person. I liked blending in, keeping my head down, and letting others be the subject of harmless gossip. But fate had other plans, and it all began with a single, innocent cup of coffee…
By Nadeem Shah 7 months ago in Humor
Views Of A Vixon 1
This very moment is the most wonderful time to ask this old classic quick question. Have you ever heard " Where do you think that sass is going to get you"? Normally, whenever we would hear that, it would mean we're getting into trouble, right? What if this time, it didn't mean that we were in trouble at all? So, you may guess that is not the meaning this time.
By LaBree Johnson7 months ago in Humor
White House Doctor's Confirm Donald Trump Dying of Evil
White House Doctors confirmed today what many have long suspected, President of the United States Donald Trump is dying of evil. The disease is terminal, and there are no treatments and no cure. At a press conference surrounded by global media, white house chief medical officer Dr. Timothy Stephens, read a prepared statement saying. “It is with great sadness that we are prepared to announce today we have finally converged on a diagnosis for the mysterious illness that has plagued President Trump for much of his life, but recently turned much more serious. We had initially suspected frontotemporal dementia as the most likely cause based on his symptology which appeared to align closely with the seven stages of that disease. As a reminder that disease begins with mild cognitive changes followed by changes in behavior and difficulty with language. At that point the patient begins to see a greater impact on quality of life and personality changes. In the final stages we see significant memory loss followed by severe cognitive decline. President Trump’s early symptoms such as chronic incontinence requiring him to wear a urinary catheter and urine collecting bag running down the side of his leg at all times while in public, along with his strangely stilted manner of standing and walking, and ever more frequent non sensical incoherent ramblings all supported the hypothesis of frontotemporal dementia as the disease from which he has suffered for so long now.
By Everyday Junglist7 months ago in Humor
Nihilist Rejects Nihilism
In what many are calling the apotheosis of nihilism, for the first time ever a nihilist has rejected nihilism itself. Nihilism is a philosophical belief system which traditionally holds that life is without meaning. It encompasses various perspectives, but often includes the rejection of traditional values and objective morality. In its most extreme form it rejects all systems of beliefs and values, including all philosophies but for one, nihilism itself. That changed on Friday this past week when radical nihilist Ted Stephens reportedly rejected nihilism calling it “completely unfounded, meaningless, and indifferent” in a series of posts to various social media and web publishing platforms. The posts included a number of black and white images of a rail thin, pasty white, visibly despairing Mr. Stephens dressed in black t-shirt and black pants and wearing a black French beret staring sadly out a window. His head was enveloped in wispy tendrils of white haze emanating from a still burning, half smoked Marlboro red cigarette in an ashtray perched upon the only piece of furniture in the cold and dreary apartment Mr. Stephens calls home. Tears could be seen just beginning to form in each eye as he contemplated the meaninglessness of a life without even a philosophy of meaninglessness to describe the desperate sadness and hopelessness of it. Wondering what to make of a of universe about which we can have no certain knowledge and now empty of even a philosophy man could use to convey the true depths of its emptiness. If he were not a nihilist Mr. Stephens would have described it as very existential. Fortunately, having rejected nihilism he was now free to embrace existentialism which he reportedly has done with gusto. In his final post he said “rejecting nihilism as meaningless has allowed me the individual freedom and given me the responsibility to create meaning for myself while still allowing me to grapple with the great questions of meaning and existence. Most importantly it has allowed me to remaining depressed and sun averse. Moreover, its practitioners embrace cigarette smoking and the wearing of all black clothes and french berets with almost as much enthusiasm as the nihilists once did before I rejected them and their philosophy so completely and thoroughly.”
By Everyday Junglist8 months ago in Humor
