humor

Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?

It’s Not Enough to Be Right
There is a story about Jeff Bezos from when he was a young boy. He was with his grandparents, both of whom were smokers. Bezos had recently heard an anti-smoking PSA on the radio that explained how many minutes each cigarette takes off a person’s lifespan. And so, sitting there in the backseat, like a typical precocious kid, mega nerd, and giant lamer, he put his math skills and this new knowledge to work and proudly explained to his grandmother, as she puffed away, “You’ve lost nine years of your life, Grandma!”
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
How We Solve The Student Loan Crisis In America
As our society continues to grow and change, so do our expectations. Bigger is better, and that is reflected in the job market. Nowadays, a bachelor’s degree is the new high school diploma. Attending college is the one way to assure society (and, more importantly, employers) that you are a productive and intelligent individual.
By erinhastoomanybooks2.04 years ago in Journal
The Brat
Great, another "meeting". I was sick and tired of this god damned manager. He just didn't know how to talk to people. He was one of those guys that talked 'at' people not 'to' them. I almost felt sorry for him since he wasn't experienced with our type of store. It was so big and had so many moving parts...so to speak. He bit off more than he could chew and like I said I almost felt sorry for him. He seemed to not like me at all, although he tried to hide it by being passive aggressive and joking. I'm not sorry for the way I am. If I know how to do something better I'll suggest it, there's no time to sugar coat things, this is work.
By Amanda Lyons4 years ago in Journal
Zig Zag #20
Sometimes in life, you have no choice but to clean up someone else’s shit. Literally. I’m not talking metaphorical shit or even baby shit. I’m talking about full-on adult poo.
By Kathleen Majorsky4 years ago in Journal
All I Wanted was an Easy Dinner
So for the most part, I am still unable to stand for more than a few seconds at a time without excruciating pain. My leg and foot is healing, but with healing comes pain... the skin pulled tightly, and when the blood rushes to the foot...
By Michelle Devon4 years ago in Journal
Good Girls Go to Heaven, Brat Boys Say
My son told me today that he was going to buy a mansion. I asked him first if I was going to get to live in it, and he said yes, but that he was going to charge me rent.
By Michelle Devon4 years ago in Journal
Why am I Awake @ 5:30am on a Sunday Morning?
Because my son, who decided to get up and play video games in the middle of the night instead of going to bed like he was repeatedly told do so, decided he was hungry.
By Michelle Devon4 years ago in Journal
The night I dropped my phone in a dirty club toilet
The date was the 15th of December, and I'd just received my final year results, the exact results I'd been hoping for in fact.
By Ellen Brady5 years ago in Journal
Employee Grievance
The company is doing very well, and our important role as key employees in this success is undeniable. Not only do we have new patrons, but we create repeat customers who go out their way to highly recommend us. Fancy that! Customers market our company as a result of the high they get from our services. Business is booming in our retreat, and it's time to dole out acknowledgment where it's due.
By Eyekay5 years ago in Journal
Adventure Of a Lifetime
Well, you can say that today started out like a normal day. This was year 2018. I had been on my job for about 3 or 4 months. I had brought me a new car about 2 months into my job. I get emotional at times thinking about memories. One day I decided I wanted to go visit a place. My grandma past in 2014, she had a property in a old community on a long road. I didn't really remember how to get there so I asked my brother for our address and to my surprise he remembered it. My friend and I were sitting outside after a long days of work. I got off at 4 pm, and it starts to get dark around 6:30 around this time. I looked at her and asked, "Hey, do you wanna go on an adventure with me. " With no hesitation she agreed. Now I didn't tell her that I didn't really know my way around or that I haven't been out there in about 18 years. I googled the address and it was about 45 minutes away from where she lived. The whole ride there we talked about our day and listened to music. I knew I was getting closer because of the familiar scenery. It was path with mailboxes to show you were at the entrance of the highlands. I remember from when I was little. On the way in, my car almost got stuck. I had a Toyota Camry 1999. We laughed and joked about what would happen if we got stuck. By now it was around 5 something. Once we got to the old property I felt at home, and getting to share a piece of my childhood with my best friend was awesome. I pointed here and explained at one point it was a playground set up where me and my brothers were playing fear factor and my brother knocked my two front teeth out. I pointed to the woods and shared stories of all the times we would run and play through them. After I went down memory lane it was getting time to go. By now it was creeping closer to 6 and we're talking about a place that gets so dark you cant see your hands in front of your face. We were now approaching the same place we almost got stuck. I seen two paths, one that I could of went through on the opposite side and straight in front of me. I decided to keep going straight because we almost got stuck, but we didn't. Well, we got STUCK. We were both so scared. We both got out of the car. My friend started digging in the dirt, trying to get the back tire from unstuck. I got out and started digging. we were both on our hands and knees digging in the dirt like hungry dogs trying to break under a fence to get to some healthy cats. You know the dark right before it gets really dark, yea we were there. At this point we were frightened blue. We didn't know what to do. We didn't have much money and everyone we knew wouldn't have came that far. We decided to call a towing company. They answered and hung up. We just knew it was over for us. We kept digging and trying to drive the car, only getting it stuck more. Right before I was just going to give up and give my life to wolves or no telling what else was out there, a man drove by. He ended up stopping seeing that we needed help, went to his house and got his truck and chain. He hooked my car up and pulled us out of the soft sand. My friend and i were on our knees thanking him for his help. He told us it was his pleasure and to be safe. I got in the car and drove to the other side and left. When we were closer back to my friend house she looked at me and said, " I love you girl I do, but remind me, if you ever, and I do mean ever, ask me to go on an adventure with you, make sure I say no. "
By Neek Cole5 years ago in Journal
Work Experience
I don’t know how global the idea of work experience is, so I’ll briefly explain for all those who engage in this post. In secondary school, at around the age of 15/16 it’s compulsory for students to complete work experience. Two weeks at a job of your choice. Of course the idea is to get you ready for the real world of work. A snapshot of your future so to speak.
By Ethan 5 years ago in Journal
Renaissance Festival War Stories Sept 11/12, 2021
Saturday: Unofficial PRIDE Day. I made a facebook event for it months ago and the whole thing started after MNRF had done a PRIDE day in the past, but none made this year. So many flags, shops, and people taking part in support of one another in the spirit of love and PRIDE. It warms me inside and out.
By Tinka Boudit She/Her5 years ago in Journal