Questions To Be Answered

Cassandra had often wondered. What made her mother leave her? What was her mother like? Did her mother want her to have a better life? Or did she just not love her child? Was her blonde hair the same as her mother’s? Or did she get it from someone else? Would she recognize her mother if the other woman stood before her? Who gave her her name? Was it her mother or the people who’d found her?

She had been lucky. After her mother had left her at the fire station, she’d been adopted. Her parents had loved her fiercely, never denying a wish or request if they could grant it. But they’d perished in a car crash soon after her twenty-first birthday, leaving her alone in the world. Oh, she had other relatives, aunts and uncles from her adopted parents, but it wasn’t the same. And she wasn’t close with any of them, which meant that she really had no one. While they’d come to the double funeral, they had soon left her alone when it was discovered that her parents had left her in sole possession of any money they had.

Now she held the test kit in her hands. It was simple, all she had to do was spit into the tube and mail it off. Then in just a few weeks, she would know who she was… biologically.

Cassandra had ordered the kit because she wanted to know, but now that it was in her hands, she felt like she was betraying the parents who had raised her. At the same time, she wanted answers to the questions that her parents could not give her. Maybe she would discover that she had siblings or grandparents, aunts or uncles that actually wanted to spend time with her, rather than wanting to take her money.

But would her parents have wanted her to take this step? There had never been any discussion of her birth parents, except to tell the story of her being left in the firehouse. She honestly hadn’t been interested before their death; they had been more than enough for her and she never doubted their love. Now that she was alone though, she wanted the connection that blood might give her.

She turned the tube over in her hands, wondering what mysteries the testing would reveal and if she would be happy about the results. Would the connections the DNA revealed satisfy her? Or would she have even more questions?

Setting it down, she picked up the directions to re-read them. They seemed simple enough; spit and seal, then mail it off. Still she hesitated. Did she really want an answer? Did she want to know who her birth parents were? Or did she just want to go through the rest of her life without that knowledge? Would that knowledge change who she was on a fundamental level? Or would the answers just make her more confused?

Normally she would call her parents to talk it out with them, but it wasn’t possible now. She knew they wouldn’t be upset if she completed the test. They had always told her the truth about her birth parents, but they didn’t know much. When she’d turned eighteen, she’d requested her file, but it was almost bare. The most information it held was with her hospital checkup once she’d been turned over to child protective services.

She picked up the tube again, coming to a decision. Before she could change her mind, she opened the tube. Allowing her mouth to fill with saliva, she spit carefully into the tube and sealed it before reaching for the envelope that it had to be returned in. Soon she’d hopefully have answers to at least some of her questions.